Connecting with the amnesiac character in “Before we were us”. A book talk.
I picked this book up from the library for some light reading and found myself emotionally connected to the lead character’s memory loss.
The story begins where Lauren is out with her boyfriend Jonah and he is about to propose. Of course she doesn’t know. Before this could happen Lauren takes a huge fall back from a ladder. She hits her head and loses her memory. She cannot recall anything from the entire summer including her relationship with Jonah. Lauren only remembers how she could hardly tolerate him at all. This frustrated Johan and everyone involved. Plus it put a lot of pressure on Lauren and made for a pretty good book.
I could empathize with the character of Lauren in many ways. Through my unlearning process of life, I felt like my memories were taken. Of course, not the memories of trauma and grief. But how to be and move forward with living.
3 connections…
- Feeling like a stranger:
Lauren wondered how Jonah wormed his way to her heart. She found it taxing to think about or even try to look through her for phone clues. He felt like a stranger. For me, I wondered and searched for answers on how to let certain people in. How can relationships get so broken? How I ended up so alone feeling like a stranger to life.
- Feeling people’s pushes:
A big frustration and guilt for Lauren was the push she felt from people to remember and be healed.. Especially Jonah. He had a hard time accepting where she was with her injury and recovery. While I can understand Jonah’s point of view in wanting his love to remember him. It added unwanted pressure to Lauren. While I was going through my unlearning and needed tons of time to rest and heal. Most people could not understand. Many were those closest to me. They struggled with me not being me. Wanting to push or even threaten me to be better. Back to good ole Rhonda. But I lost my memory of how to be her.
- Feeling like death:
At some point in the book, Lauren experiences a huge panic attack and what feels like death. Realizing her life has been flipped and she has lost control of it. This was a huge connection for me. Having to see my life crumble the last few years and with many panic attacks. Including some very dark moments. Trying to comprehend how life got so messed up. I hadn’t any clue how to change it. There was so much trauma to muddle through. Like Lauren’s trauma to the brain had left her with few tools to work with her current situation. It has an amnesic feeling to know very little about how to move forward..
While I may be connecting to a fictional character the author had done a good job of creating a believable amnesic character. In fact, I did a little research around different types of amnesia and found out I might be dealing with Dissociative Amnesia. It is memory loss associated with trauma, abuse or extreme stress.
Good to know, I guess.
So not totally losing my mind.
Before We Were Us by Denise Hunter is a highly recommended book by me.