She looked out her window. Clear, blue skies, sun shining brightly. It was the perfect April Spring Day for North Dakota. She knew it was about to change. The weather people were predicting one of the worst blizzards in ND history. Like most North Dakotans, she’d deal with it because there is no choice.
It was a Tuesday. The snow had been falling for a few hours, so she decided around mid-morning to head out and start shoveling. This winter, she had shoveled more than any other year and probably in her entire life. This year was different, that was for sure. She had been encouraged by her PT to find ways to get her body stronger, both mentally and physically. So here she was, shoveling and not minding it. She found it somewhat meditative. It allowed her to clear her mind and see many things in her life for what they were…sucky.
Now that she had been shoveling for months, she looked forward to the time and maybe even the challenge of staying ahead of the snow. Unlike most people, this winter storm wasn’t interrupting much.
Her day-to-day life had become almost like Groundhog’s Day. Repetitive and simple.
But she had come to accept it most of the time. What else could she do? So much had been changed and lost, out of her control. At least with shoveling, she could clear a path and see the results almost immediately. It gave her a weird sense of purpose.
The mid-morning clearing took about an hour. The walkway to the house and the 3-stall garage cemented area were almost done. Of course, there was a huge gravel part of the drive to think about if they were really going to get 24 inches of snow. She wondered how she would shovel all that.
Back inside, she felt proud of herself and went about her afternoon. Later, the snow was coming down faster and heavier. She headed back out to give it another go.
She started on the walkway and continued her side of the garage driveway. She felt warm and in the flow. Moving towards the other areas of the drive. She stopped to breathe. Taking in the beauty and coolness deep in her lungs. Checking with her body, remembering to push the snow and lift with caution. Her body was healing both mentally and physically. She knew how important it was to listen to all its subtleties.
At that moment, she took another breath to review her hard work thus far. She turned around to look, and instead of pavement, she saw only a layer of white. The driveway is already covered. Totally covered! The snow was falling so fast that she could not keep up at all.
She stared in disbelief and screamed to the world in her exhaustion, “I am so fucked”!
That night, she felt disappointed. Did she really think she could keep up with it? Maybe it gave her a sense of purpose. It seemed to reflect her life. She could no longer control or plan how it would work out. How she envisioned. She must surrender and allow. Truly put her faith out there. Easier said than done.