This was one of my first posts on Medium in the fall of 2024 (which I was later banned from). Not sure why I started with peace. Maybe it helped me understand where my deep healing journey started, and maybe it could give others insight into starting to find peace.
Part 1: The endless degrees and jobs!
In my late twenties, I got a full-time teaching job at a local private Native American school. I was going to be a children’s librarian. In getting that job, I needed to go back to school for a minor in library science. That tended to be a lot of nights and weekends away from my family. But it seemed worth it to be able to read to children every day and get good books in their hands.
Well, maybe about 6 years into that job, I found myself restless and frustrated by so many of the things that were happening there, along with trying to get my health back (more in part 2). I loved working with the kids, but so much of the job seemed to be unfulfilling.
Most days, on my twenty-minute drive to work, I would talk out loud to God. Ask him what he wanted for me. I was just tired and not excited. This went on for almost two years.
Then one day, my boss and I had a heavy disagreement, which eventually got resolved.
But it pushed me to decide to find something else.
Next up was a part-time job in the public school system at the middle school level, with a chance to get a full-time position to teach reading the next year. So I decided to get my master’s degree in reading and curriculum. I felt like this was it. The perfect job was coming, plus I would be making a lot more money. Well, that first year there was hell, but I learned a lot about how the public school system worked. And all the things that needed fixing.
I visited with my boss and some leaders of the school with ideas. They liked my energy and enthusiasm. So that following year, I was teaching full-time reading to at-risk kids and was asked to be the school leader to help with reading initiatives.
Now, here it was a dream job. I was there and would have peace and fulfillment.
Not even close.
I was at that job for 12 years, and during that time, I received a master’s degree, was a building leader, and later was a district and department leader. I was there to change the system (more about that in another post). I had 4 different positions and taught 6th grade to college level. This just caused me more stress and frustration.
And you can guess it… no peace!
In 2017, I quit my full-time teaching job to start a life coaching business. While this helped with stress, it still brought very little peace.
It would be years later, and so much to unlearn.
Because at that time, I didn’t understand what peace was.
I thought it was going after achievements to fulfill some void.
To solve problems by getting more and more involved with a system that didn’t want its problems solved.
The hamster wheel of life. The lies behind working harder to get your dream job.
The illusion that the choice and chase are satisfying.
That is so far from the truth.
It pulls you from it. It mixes up your thinking. Makes you addicted to more.
But it is in the less, not more.
the simple…
That brings you back and settles you down to receive—- Peace