Maybe you don’t know! I didn’t. I thought it meant letting people walk all over you and not ever saying no. But it is sneakier than that. It comes upon us slowing. First, we are doing things to be nice. Next, we tell ourselves that people need our help. Then, out of fear of upsetting someone and not being liked. Finally, because we think we have to… (it is a great hidden belief).
Now maybe it is in that exact order. Whatever the order, people pleasing is about giving away our power. Becoming small. Not show up as our authentic selves.
So how do you know if you are people pleasing?
Ask yourself…is what I am doing from a place of love? Does this give me energy?
Start looking very closely at your life.
If people and things you do are sucking your energy. Ask why? It might be time to step away from those things. And yes people too.
Incorporate more of what gives you energy.
Say yes to only things you love to do.
Recently a client made a shift from worrying about if her employees liked her to focusing on her passion within the job. Her passion is to coach employees and assist them side by side. “Not in a boss like way”. She has found the employees that want to be coached. These people are more willing to have tough conversations and make change than those who do not. She just listens and then together they work towards solutions and make step by step plans. She has gone from trying to solve people’s problems and pleasing them to listening and facilitating. She is loving her job again and finding she has much more energy too.
At first it will be hard but as you practice this muscle it gets easier. Start today. Do things for you! Fill your cup.
People pleasing sucks your soul! It is time to take care of you first, Are you ready to let go and create something new? Click Here.